And so the interview for the job of the Second Officer with our national carrier is over. On reflection, I doubt I did a good job as I was nervous in front of the interview panel of 5 (or was it 6) interviewers.

While the interview was seemingly harmless, the questions asked by the panelists hinge on determining the whether I had what it takes to meet the organisation's requirements. I fumbled at the start on the standard "Tell me about yourself". The rest of the questions were asked to gauged my assessment skills such as; "Between ECP and PIE, what's the difference in your opinion".

The next question on why would the organisation want me given my age of 37 (I was the oldest in the the 6 of us who were shortlisted). I didn't think I answered that well either. But nonetheless, the agony of the interview is over, I have to wait for the results. If I am selected, the next assessment would be the simulator check.

Hoping for the best.

When two persons make an unanimous decision to spend their lives together, frictions are bound to happen. It takes a lot of understanding and compromise in order to make things work. 

It's not being an easy two weeks as both of you adjusted to a life of staying together under the same roof. From grocery shopping to the late nights of assembling the IKEA furniture, there's been many shared moments. Yet amidst these shared moments, there are also ugly moments over time spent together. More often than not, you are the one who sparked off the fire and upset your dearest darling. 

What happened to your promise to take care of her? 

What happened to your own promise to provide her with the emotional support?

You have failed miserably as her fiance..

It's your birthday and yet you don't feel happy as you see how your father's mental health condition has deteriorated. You have spent the past few hours keeping a lookout for your father and coaxing him to sleep while the mother gets some much needed rest.

In the few hours of observation, you have noticed that he keeps re-arranging the ash tray, cup and cigarettes. He searches for his slippers and thinks that he is going to the office. He treats his pajamas as his work clothes by stuffing his cigarettes and mobile phone into non-existent pockets. He stands up and holds on to the shelf before sitting down - took a while for you to realise that he needed his umbrella-modified walking stick to walk. 

While you hope that its just a case of being possessed, you cannot help but think that it's more likely an early onset of dementia.    

To contextualise what dementia is, one needs to understand the following;

"Dementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities." 

The signs are as follows;

"While symptoms of dementia can vary greatly, at least two of the following core mental functions must be significantly impaired to be considered dementia; Memory, Communication and language, 

Ability to focus and pay attention, Reasoning and judgment, Visual perception"

It's stressing for the family as the mother has to take care of him with you and the youngest one assisting. The 3rd brother keeps a lookout during the day time when the father is in the office while the second brother has to take care of his kid. It's not easy but somehow or rather, you just have to be strong enough to take care of everybody.

Its been a tough month as you juggle with the multiple demands of house renovation, work stresses and taking care of family needs. It can get too much for you to handle at times but you just have to do what you have to do.  

Taking care of an elderly family member with suspected dementia syndromes can be fraught with several challenges. One has to keep a close watch at them and make sure that they are not at any risk of falling. Your schedule revolves adjustments to your daily routine; on weekdays, making sure you reach the office by 7.30pm if the siblings are not available, on weekends, making sure that you are available to do the sending and picking up.

It's not easy but something you and the siblings have to deal with.  

It has been 4 months since you last penned your thoughts in here.

4 LONG MONTHS.

These 4 months has passed by in a blink of an eye as you charged head on towards the demands of responsibilities which has been thrown upon you. From the purchase of your own house to managing the heavy workload while worrying about your health, it's been nothing short of crazy period. 

As you grapple with life's pressing demands on you, you start forgetting who you are and what you live for. More often than not, you feel like a tsunami has pummeled  you, it's strong currents dragging you further out to the open seas even as you try to swim towards the safety of the shore.

Time is a commodity which one has to pay a premium these days. You do your best to prioritise the important things while keeping an eye out for potential opportunities which may come along. It reminds you of the days in the organisation where you focus on the big fires while letting the smaller bush fires burn. But yet, the trade-offs of fighting the big fires leaves you perturbed as the smaller fires may lead to the bigger ones under the right conditions.

Perhaps you should start putting your foot down and spend time on things which you care about; like your poor and lonely darling - who often has to bear the brunt of your late nights, catching up on the flight exams, etc.

You hope that you can find that sweet spot where you are able to optimise and strike the balance. But for now, you just have to bite the bullet for a while longer.

As part of the new requirement to take your physical fitness exam, you have to undergo medical examination, or more commonly known as, FFI.

In FFI, one is required to take a blood test, blood pressure test, urine test and ECG test. Based on the result, your cholesterol is on the borderline high and the doctor is sending you for the much-dreaded stress ECG as a precaution given that your father had a heart bypass years ago.

When you look back over the past year, your exercise frequency has reduced and your diet has become unhealthy. It's a shocking reminder that you need to exercise more frequently and watch your diet closely. If you are diagnosed with heart problem, your flying days would be over.

And you know that you will never be the same again.

So you are hoping for the best for now.

How do one cram updates which have been lacking for the past two months into a single post?

There are many thoughts on your mind which you will do your utmost to pen down so as to make things flow. Not easy, but you are willing to give it a shot.

For starters, you have finally set your sights on a house after searching for 3 months. Come August this year, you would be collecting the keys to a resale 3-roomer which will be your abode for years to come. While its a tad small compared to a 4-roomer, it met your principal considerations of budget and proximity to the parents. Notwithstanding these principal considerations, the fully renovated house goes a long way towards reducing the financial outlay necessary for renovations. All that's needed is minor renovations to your specifications.

While the paperwork for the house is underway, you turn your focus onto other things such as spending time with the girlfriend and trying to fly yourself out of the desk job. Even though disagreements are bound to happen, you do feel bad for not spending enough time with her given the distance. As correctly pointed out by her, you tend put the needs of others ahead of yourself, which is not conducive in the long run for any relationships. Note to self; More work to be done on the relationship front..

So, that's it. A quick and short update on a Vesak Day, a day spent resting and recovering from all the flu-induced stresses.